Am I Still A Parent?

Am I Still A Parent? This is one of the questions a newly bereaved parent with no surviving children will ask. This is a question I have asked myself more than once. In the first year after Kyle’s death I wasn’t sure that I was, but I now firmly believe that I am still a parent. Why? Because my son’s legacy is my responsibility. I need to carry on for him, and to ensure that his legacy lives on, as long as I am alive, that he is not forgotten.

This is very different from parenting before his death, of course. And for some it may be an inadequate substitute. For me I find it is the best that I can come up with now. Kyle was 23 at the time of his accident. He was still living at home but also actively searching for an apartment with a friend. Parenting at this stage had become more guidance or advice in adult life, as opposed to the intensive parenting we do when they are children. When they are children, we focus on safety and education. In my situation, Kyle’s friends told us numerous stories of his generous and helping nature. That has become my guiding principle in keeping his legacy alive. It is through that work that I feel I am a parent since my actions are in line with guidance and advising.